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Alone With a Baby


I've mentioned before that I work part-time. Just about every Monday through Saturday, I'm at the office from 10-2. Luckily, for the summer, Camaron doesn't start work until 3. So it usually works out that we can take turns taking care of Fox throughout the day -Camaron in the mornings, and me in the afternoons (and then family play time in the evenings). To me, this seemed like the best solution. I love the idea of Fox being with at least one of us always. A babysitter here and there, but mostly just us.

After a while though, I noticed I wasn't very happy. I was snappy and complaining a lot, and I was taking out the majority of my stress on Camaron. Often, my complaints consisted of me not being able to get anything done because Fox was having a rough time that day. Or I would be mad when Camaron came home late from work because I was so tired and had wanted a nap, but Fox didn't, or because Camaron had the car and I had really wanted to go somewhere.

Then, we did the best thing you can do in a situation where things just aren't working and not everyone's happy -Camaron and I sat down and talked it out. I had no idea how selfish I was being! I was oblivious for some reason. Hello? Camaron was spending just as much of his time everyday with Fox, and he was tired too, but he wasn't complaining or getting mad. Once we talked, it all became clear that time with Fox was just that, time with Fox. If he was being fussy, or not napping when I wanted him to be, or not letting me set anything down on the coffee table, who cares? He's being a baby -that's what they do. Projects, cleaning, and whatever else would just have to wait until either Camaron was home, or if Fox was asleep, or for when I had free time at work.

Ever since that talk, I've been more aware of how I am when I'm home alone with Fox. I've been putting in more effort to actually play with him instead of just watching him play. There's a lot more singing in our house than there was before. And I'm actually getting chores done -turns out, it's more fun doing laundry and dishes when Fox is there to help. Being alone with Fox is so much fun! I can't believe what I had been missing out on before.

Sometimes I forget that I need to be the one adjusting to motherhood -not me trying to make motherhood adjust to me.

11 comments

  1. Ahh these pictures are so precious! So cute!

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  2. Perfectly said! I get the same way, and it's usually Alex that spends most of the days at home. I'm such a whiner sometimes! But when I get grumpy- It's usually because when I get home, Alex has to study and go to class. I'm selfish and I hate not seeing/ spending time with him! But then I remember that Delaynie is my buddy! I get to hang out with her and not be so lonely while Alex is gone. I love it. Sometimes we all need a little reality check! YOU DA BOMB! :)

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  3. Oh my goodness! So precious!!! :D

    <3 Sharmaine Ruth
    underpeachtrees.blogspot.com

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  4. you and cam are awesome :) that's all I gotta say! Before you had fox and I was your daughter (ish) hehe you guys parented me real well! So I can only imagine how awesome you are with fox. and besides the fact that I see how awesome you are with Fox. But I totally agree with the playing with them part cause even though I'm just a nanny, I used to sometimes play with them and mostly let them do their own thing and I wasn't happy. They liked me but they didnt love me. the feeling was mutual. Then one day, I decided to start interacting with them wayyyy more and try way harder to play wayyy more than i was and i realized it made me happier! I was happier to go to work, ryder and hayes started to love me and I love those two cuties. moral is, we're human and I'm pretty sure every person has done/ will do this with their kids. and then we learn that play time is actually really fun and kids do really funny stuff :) anyways, you rock my world dr dre!

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  5. I have a feeling that I will now exactly what you mean, in a few months, once our little guy is born. "Adjusting to motherhood, rather than trying to make motherhood adjust to me" sounds like a very good thing to keep in mind. Thank you for sharing this, Andrea. Your son is beautiful.

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  6. great insight! can you come help me not be so cranky??

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  7. This is so true!! I feel much happier when I let time with my kids be exactly that! I try to follow a schedule as much as I can so that I can always be mentally where I'm at physically.

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  8. um, that's me. Tani Bree

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  9. Love this. I really loved, "Adjusting to motherhood, rather than trying to make motherhood adjust to me." I'm still adjusting and I think I always will be "adjusting". Each kid, each age, brings new adventures. Motherhood truly is a celestial calling as it tugs us to always be learning, changing, and progressing through life.

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  10. You are such a great mother. Exhibit A: FOX! I don't think there's a mom out there that can't relate to what you wrote. Just do your best and one day you will get your reward...Grandchildren!

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  11. Amen and amen. I actually just barely wrote a post about this exact same thing a few weeks ago. So, you are far ahead of me in figuring this out! It's a hard thing, though to let go of "getting things done" in order to accomplish the most important task in our lives. I just have to keep reminding myself day after day that the projects and the decorating and the parties and the daily tasks like bills and emails and such are the things getting in the way of my REAL work of my children, not the other way around.

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