Making the Jump From One Child to Two

I remember when Fox was just newly born, I cried a lot. There were many reasons for it, but I remember sometimes it happened just because I was overwhelmed with how much I loved this little guy. I would just look at him and my eyes would start to well up. Sometimes I would worry and panic a little because I couldn't comprehend ever having that same amount of love for another child. How did moms of multiple kids do it? Did they love each one as much as I loved this little Fox? What if you had 8 kids? How did that work? Does the love thin out as you spread it that far? There was just no way that each child would be loved as much as that first. It just didn't make sense to me, so I confided in Camaron one night that I didn't think I could have any more kids.

"I just love Fox sooo much. I don't think I could have any more kids because I wouldn't love them as much." That was basically what I managed to get out.

"Doesn't that feel selfish though?" Camaron asked me.

This really took me off guard. Selfish? How was I being selfish? 

Camaron then turned the topic from me to focus more on Fox. What about Fox? Would he grow up without any siblings just because I couldn't comprehend how my love could work? I hadn't even thought about Fox. Immediately, my whole way of thinking changed. Just because I didn't understand something that was still very new to me didn't mean I should let it affect our family in such a huge way. 

Now, as Fox is almost two and I'm three weeks away from adding another member to our family, I have had a lot more time to process those thoughts and feelings I had in the beginning. And I can say that I have only felt positively about our decision to try for more kids. As I shifted my way of thinking away from focusing on myself and what I didn't understand, it became clearer that this was a good thing. This new baby will be surrounded in love -not just from me, but from Fox and Daddy too. And if we have more children in the future, the love will just keep growing. 

Even though new baby isn't even here yet, I already have great amounts of love for him/her. Feeling this way makes me feel a little silly about how worried I was back when Fox was newly born. I fully expect to cry a lot again when the new baby gets here. And I know one of the (many) reasons will be from being overwhelmed in love:)

One Little Monkey Jumping on the Bed

Fox has two favorite past-times right now. The first being that of playing outside with the water spigot. A couple of cups, some tupperware, an ice cream scoop, and he's good to go for at least half an hour. But if it's just too hot outside for this mama to handle, I'll ask him what his second choice would be. Lately, that answer always seems to be "Bed!!!"

This little guy seems to reach his highest-pitched squeals while jumping and rolling around on our bed. And so far, he's only knocked my water cup off the nightstand once, so I'm calling this activity a win.

Update // Moving to DC

Basically there isn't anything new to report right now. Except that I'm starting to get a little stressed. *original DC news found here. We're not moving until mid-August, but new baby is coming in about 3.5 weeks. I foresee myself being pretty useless (moving/packing/planning-wise) for a while once new baby is here. Oh, fyi we have been referring to the baby in my belly as "new baby" a lot around here. Basically, it feels like I have 3.5 weeks to get quite a bit done. Oy. Figuring out insurance stuff, changing mailing address, actually getting housing, getting plane tickets, all that jazz. And on top of that, I don't know if you caught that, but I'm due to have a baby in 3.5 weeks!

I feel like I was so much more prepared when we were getting ready for Fox to come. I just now realized I need to make sure new baby has a pediatrician -of course we'll use the one we already have, but I had totally forgotten I need to take care of that before baby gets here. Also, what did I pack in my hospital bag last time? Is there anything I should be buying before new baby gets here? I have bought NOTHING. I feel like I'm just trusting that we still have everything we will need from when Fox was born -I should probably double-check on that. I am however very proud of myself: we are taking a birth prep class this weekend. Yay for being somewhat prepared! But really, I'm so excited for our class -anything that makes this baby seem more real has just been making me more and more excited. 

Sorry for this jumbled post. I just needed to write everything out, you know. And I know I forgot to mention it, but even though I'm feeling some stress, I am also so excited for our move. I feel like this change will be very good for me -even if it's just temporary. This week, we set a goal to get our DC housing all figured out. Pray for us.

p.s. No, the picture above doesn't really have anything to do with this post:)

One Month Left

I am continually shocked with how fast this pregnancy seems to be going. I think it goes right in hand with how quickly this year seems to be going -it's practically June, people. I almost wish things would slow down, and I could just take in all of the little moments, but I'm also very excited to meet this little one (and find out if our newest family member is a boy or a girl!), so I'll let it slide for now. 

At eight months, I'm still feeling pretty good. Sleep isn't too bad yet and I'm still able to move around alright. My hips are definitely feeling it more than they did with Fox, but it's not too bad. And I figure sore hips are a good thing -the body is just doing prep work for labor, right? Oh, speaking of all that crazy prep work, I had a doctor's appointment today and I'm at a 2 and 70% effaced. What??? I know those numbers can stay like that for a while, but it just shocked me because with Fox, nothing happened at all until the night before he was born. It probably means nothing, but I'm thinking it may be an early sign that this is going to be an even faster labor than Fox's was. That has me equally excited and worried -no baby deliveries in the car, please.

...and just for documentation's sake, here's how Fox felt about Daddy taking a break from playing with him to take my picture real fast :(
 We get it, Daddy's super fun.


Hot Summer Days Can Drive A Mom Crazy

Whether or not I spend time outside makes a drastic difference in how my day goes. Being out of the house, getting fresh air, and moving around just lifts my spirits tremendously. My mind just works better when I've taken time to go outside -I have more patience and energy to go around, so it basically benefits everybody. Especially Fox.

The other day, we had been inside all day, and I was definitely feeling it. Fox had taken a nap, but I hadn't. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch, but he just wanted to play. With me. I was feeling so negative and tired and I couldn't believe there were still four more hours until Camaron would get home. I'm so grateful my mind didn't fully shut down -even though it was hot hot hot outside, I knew that was exactly what the two of us needed. I didn't have the energy for the park, but I could handle the backyard. And I knew a good activity that would help out in the heat.

Fox and I grabbed a couple of random dishes, filled them with water and food coloring (kid loves colors. Yay!), then got playing. Fox was seriously entertained for a good fifteen minutes just scooping and pouring water back and forth. Then we watered our dead garden (didn't put in nearly enough effort this year. oops). Then we just went nuts with the water. We covered the burning patio so our poor little feet wouldn't roast on it anymore. Then we splashed and poured and sprayed some more.

Take that, AZ heat! You can't shut us in quite yet!

Paint A Little

Not gonna lie, I absolutely melt whenever Fox expresses any amount of interest in creating art. There is still crayon all over our dishwasher to prove it. I have no shame in admitting that I would love nothing more than if Fox grew up loving and creating art as much as I did. He's been big on coloring with crayons and pencils for a while, but I decided to bust out the big guns a week ago and let him try out watercolors. He wasn't as enamored by them as I had hoped, but he was interested just enough to at least test them out. And he tried them out again on Mother's Day long enough to create cards for both of his grandmas:) And *bonus* Fox inspired me to pick up watercolors again and I was able to paint/create a gift for my mom. Solved my dilemma of having no clue what to get her. Thank you, Fox.

There are still plenty of other forms of media I plan to introduce this little guy to, so I guess it's alright he's not too incredibly in love with watercolor right now -plus, crayon and pencil are definitely less messy anyway.

High Quality Photos Taken Inside A Movie Theater

I am not quite sure what the first movie I ever saw at the movie theater was, but the earliest one I can remember seeing was Oliver & Company. I loved when Dodger sang Why Should I Worry? (and I still do). Yesterday, we took Fox to see his first movie in a movie theater. We were pretty nervous because he's never really sat through a whole movie at home, so we just went to the dollar theater as a precaution -if worse came to worse and we had to leave, it'd only be like $3 we would have spent anyway. They were showing Frozen. Perfect. Fox had never seen it, but Camaron and I had -so again, no big deal if we missed some parts or had to leave.

Not too incredibly surprising, Fox blew our low expectations away and did awesome. He sat on Camaron's lap for most of the movie, and then awkwardly sat in his own seat the rest of the time. I don't know if it was the seats or Fox, but apparently he wasn't quite big enough to weigh down the fold-up seat, so he was slightly folded-up whenever he sat in it:) He ate tons of popcorn, and fed us in between his bites. Along with eating it, Fox spent most of the movie putting popcorn in his empty water cup (it accidentally spilled out on the floor) and then transferring the popcorn back and forth between that and a little tupperware cup he had also brought. Don't let that fool you though, even though he played with his popcorn, he was completely mesmerized by the movie. I think having all of the lights off helped minimize distractions.

As we walked out, Cam and I were basically celebrating and planning our next movie outing the whole way to the car -well, that and singing Let It Go.

We Are MOVING // Washington DC

It's true. This fall, our little family will be packing up and moving to the East Coast. I'm still freaking out -pretty sure I'll be doing that up until we get there ...and probably a while after that.

Camaron was accepted into an internship program that will be in Washington DC this fall, during his final semester of school. I'm still not exactly sure what he'll be doing -something with journalism/research/Associated Press? All I know is it's kinda a big deal and Camaron's kinda a big deal. The whole thing has just been a huge rush so far. We just found out Cam was accepted around two weeks ago, on a Wednesday. He then had to let them know if he wanted to do it by that Monday. Less than a week! I was a huge mess, which is the main reason I didn't really announce it. I didn't want to say anything until we knew for sure, and for the first few days I felt so negative about the whole thing. All of the unknowns were just too much for me. My depression and anxiety were triggered big time by this HUGE change; We'd be moving earlier than originally planned, we'd be going somewhere I'd never been, it's a lot more expensive than we're used to, and this would all be happening only two months after the new baby is born. All I was seeing were negatives.

It wasn't until I talked to a close friend of mine that my thinking was able to change. For around 20 years, she was a military wife, so she had been through a lot of moving. A lot of moving with kids and newborns -and most of it happened in Europe. Hearing her perspective and encouragement made everything sound more possible. And I knew how important this was to Camaron and I couldn't let my fears get in the way of that. After that meeting, and a lot of prayer, all of the negatives seemed to fade away. I felt so much better about this change. I told Camaron that night that we were going:) It will definitely be an adventure, but I know I won't be alone, and adventure must be exactly what I need right now.

p.s. pregnancy update: only 6 more weeks to go. Whoa.

***any tips on moving across the country for a semester would be greatly appreciated. Right now I feel like all I can pack are clothes and diapers (we're flying, planning to live somewhere furnished, and leaving our car in AZ). Also, any tips on flying with a toddler and newborn would be great (another first for us).


Day Trip // Williams, AZ Deer Farm

 Llama faces^^^

I'm still not exactly sure what a deer farm is (do they set them free when they grow up? Do they become jerky when they grow up? Where do all the deer babies come from?? So many questions), all I know is we went to one this weekend and little Bambis were everywhere. My aunt had some coupons, so we grabbed the cousins and spent the afternoon at the farm. It was so nice to escape the heat for a few hours -the farm is in Northern AZ, just outside of Flagstaff. And I was pleasantly surprised by all of the animals they had there -it was more like a really cool petting zoo than a farm. We were able to hang with deer, elk, llamas (insert all of the Emperor's New Grove quotes here), wallabies, a camel, pigs, marmoset, parrots, bison, and a dog who thought it was a pig.

The farm was neat, but I especially enjoyed just being able to spend time with family who doesn't live super close. We were able to have a nice picnic while we were there in the pines -have I ever mentioned how much I love picnics? I love picnics.

What did you do this weekend?


Fox // Just Over 20 Months

 I don't know where he learned this, but Fox randomly just puts his pointer fingers to his cheeks and gives a super high-pitched, gleeful "EEEeeeeeee!"^^^as seen above. Oh what a fun age this is. It seems like Fox is learning and showing off new skills each day -mostly new words. It's so great to be able to understand so many more of his little requests now. It's always so hard when you know your little one really needs something from you, but you just can't understand each other. So his increasing vocabulary has been a huge blessing. Some new words include: motorcycle, catch, I got it, Mickey Mouse, sandwich, and mess. Part of getting older has also been growing more independent. Right now, Fox's favorite toys are the ones in our neighbors' yards. So instead of playing at the playground at the park, or walking with me to the mailbox, this kid always ends up wandering away and in someone's left-out wagon/toy car/toy shopping cart ...and then never wants to go home. Camaron handles it much better than I do right now. 

Fox is also pretty obsessed with keys right now. Sometimes it's actual keys, other times it's earbud cords. For some reasons, he thinks that the end that you plug in is a key, so he usually brings one with him to the mailbox to try and unlock all of the mailboxes:) Fox is also big on helping right now. He especially loves helping clean up messes. Sometimes I won't even notice he's spilled something until he runs into the kitchen to grab a rag and then begins dapping the carpet or couch saying "uh oh" or "mess." The best was last night when I was crying (who knows why), and Fox saw my tears, then ran to the kitchen chanting "mess, mess, mess"and then came back with a rag to clean off my messy face:)

Fox also still has a ridiculous obsession with yogurt and graham crackers. He still loves to color (whether with crayons, pens, colored pencils, or sidewalk chalk), and I loooooove it. And he loves to point out the "baby" (my stomach) and give it kisses. Presh. And one of mine and Camaron's new favorite things to do with Fox is to discuss his dreams each night before bed. Once Fox is all tucked in, we ask him who he's going to dream about -then we go through all of our family members and all of Fox's favorite animals. I enjoy it almost as much as Fox enjoys grabbing and wearing a hat each time we enter Target (neither of us enjoys always having to give them back at checkout).

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