Tomorrow, I turn 30.
This isn't what I originally wanted to write about.
I would have loved to write about our Halloween, with plenty of costume pictures ...but we don't have any pictures of us in our costumes. And it's driving me crazy. It got too dark too fast, so it just didn't happen. I am just going to hold on to the hopes that we'll stage some photos this week, so I'm saving that Halloween post until then. Is it as tacky as I think it is to post Halloween pics later this week? Oh well. I'll just post some photos I took earlier in the day on Halloween to tide everyone over for now.
But, as I mentioned earlier, tonight is my last night in my twenties.
I don't know how I feel about it yet. I feel like age becomes less and less important as you get older. Like, when you're fresh out of high school and going to lots of parties and meeting new people all the time, it seemed like you told people your age all the time (Which just sounds really weird now. Why were people asking each other's ages so much? Weird). But I swear, in the last year I've only said my age out loud like two times. And one of those times, it came out as a question. "I'm 29 ...?" It didn't sound right, so I wasn't sure if I was right.
Ok, I have to pause Netflix to write the rest of this. I'm not saying what show I'm watching though, because it's embarrassing. Ok, ok, it's Jane the Virgin. Ok? But that's what happens when there's only one season of Fixer Upper available and I get totally sucked into it and then I'm devastated that that was it. I need more! But I don't have cable! I need a new "me" show that just I watch while Camaron is at work. But all of the other HGTV show on Netflix are lame. How did I pick Jane the Virgin? Why am I still watching it? Wow, this is becoming quite the tangent. Alright, back to the serious writing. I've read posts where people are like "30 is going to be the best year ever!" Or people are just so bummed that their twenties are over that it is never spoken of. I'm neither of these.
I'm more of a "well, we'll just have to see what happens" type.
But I don't mean that in a "thirty-shmirty" way -like it's no big deal. I want to be celebrated, gosh dangit!
This is a big deal. I've come a long way, and I am grateful.
Just ten years ago, I was a completely different person. I was incredibly shy. I was (I'll admit it) pretty self absorbed -I wish I was there more for some of my friends who went through huge life changes early in their lives. I didn't really have any direction and didn't know what I wanted. I was also a pretty fun person -always up for an adventure. Always making fun memories. And I was, like, really funny (I'm so glad I kept a journal ...and that FB has that timeline).
I love who I've become. At 30, I am a confident mother of two amazingly wonderful children. I am a wife to an amazing husband. I get to work selling my own art -that I love creating and growing with everyday. I care more and am starting to understand empathy. I still love adventures (although, they definitely take more planning and preparation now). And I work hard to continue making fun memories. And I'm still funny. Maybe more than before. Who knows? I'll give the full report once I'm actually 30 (which is about an hour from now).
Let's do this, 30.
p.s. all of my expectations for what 30 will be like are from binge-watching 13 Going On 30 when it first came out, fyi. Don't let me down, Jennifer Garner.